Start To Forgive ....
We often think of forgiveness as something that someone who has done us wrong must ask of us. There is always another way of looking at something. My thoughts on forgiveness suggest you that you focus on offering forgiveness to the person who has wronged you. To not forgive them is like taking the poison (continuing to suffer for what they did or didn't do to yoy) and expecting THEM ti die!
Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do for someone else. It is not complicated. It is simple. Simply identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: "Am I willing to waste my energy further on this matter?" If the answer is "No," then that's it! All is forgiven.
Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to imagine a better future, one that is based on the blessed possibility that your hurt will not be the final word on the matter. It challenges you to give up your destructive thoughts about the situation and to believe in the possibility of a better future. It builds confidence that you can survive the pain and grow from it.
Telling someone is a bonus! It is not necessary for forgiveness to begin the process that heals the hurt. Forgiveness has little or nothing to do with another person because forgiveness is an internal matter.
Choice is always present in forgiveness. You do not have to forgive and there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, resentment and a sense of betrayal can make your own life miserable. A vindictive mind-set creates bitterness and lets the betrayer claim one more victim.
There is nothing so bad that cannot be forgiven. Nothing!
The greatest misconception about forgiveness is the belief that forgiving the offense, such as an affair, means that you condone it. Not true. In fact, we can only forgive what we know to be wrong. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconcile with someone who badly treated you.
Another misconception is that it depends on whether the person who did you wrong apologizes, wants you back, or changes his or her ways. If another person's poor behavior were the primary determinant for your healing then the unkind and selfish people in your life would retain power over you indefinitely. Forgiveness is the experience of finding peace inside and can neither be compelled nor stopped by another.
I believe that to withhold forgiveness is to choose to continue to remain the victim. Remember, you always have choice.
When you forgive you do it for you, not for the other. The person you have never forgiven. . . owns you!
Learn to look for and appreciate the love, beauty and kindness around you. It's there, and you may have to change your thinking and behavior to discover it.
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